AH YEE, JIA YOU!

grandma called last night. she told me that ah yee has finally made up her decision. that is to go for voluntarily retrenchment.

after 25 years of work, ah yee who is a Vice President of the Finance department decides to step down. life is a complete change for her now. she is 52 years old now.

the whole of today i was practically thinking about this issue. it seems that things are really kind of different now. no more posh lifestyles. no more branded goods. no more fine dining. to many, these may seemed like a luxury. of course, to me those are luxuries too. but to ah yee, someone whom had slogged all her life, who chose to remain single, who chose to earn more money for the family especially to give ah ma better life, who bear the responsibilities of taking care of pam and ben after uncle passed away (even when they are not her kids)- the kind of lifestyle is definitely what she deserved. she used her OWN money to buy a condo and to bring my ah ma to europe and different places. she worked hard for it. she definitely deserves it.

now, i guess it is my turn to take over this role. indeed, pam is already working. that helps too since now she found a better paying job. hope all goes well for her. however, me being the youngest in my mum's family seems to be the one earning the most at this moment. i am determined that i will do even better in life especially in my career for now since i am more than needed than before.

imagine if i can hit my sales target monthly, i will be able to bring back about 3 times my basic salary every month. and with careful financial planning and savings, i shld be able to bring my family out for holidays in times to come. definitely a small one to start with.

dear ah yee. pls don't worry. u all will have meishan standing up and supporting the family. i will never forget how well u treated me. just like your own daughter. how u always give me money, how u gave me $1k for my US trip, how you sign me a sub card for my US trip saying that the card can only be used for emergency and in the end, i used that card buying coach bags for you! how you gave me my first gucci wallet. how you gave me my first LV make up bag. how you gave my very first diamond ring and earrings. how you always bring me to high tea. how you always pay for my clothes and shoes. and many many more. i know no matter how material these may seem, but the real motivation from all these is your LOVE to me.

worried about ah yee, i popped by her hse and had dinner with them. as usual, it's me that lighted up the whole atmosphere with my crankiness and siaoness. and my cousins will start complaining to ah ma: AH MA!!!! see!!! meishan siao liao again! she never take medicine (in hokkien). today, i made them laugh non stop by singing hokkien songs! hee. they laughed. i laughed. it melts my heart.

went to court for a hearing as well. wah. i am so overwhelmed again with emotions. emotions on kinship. emotions on family. i guess i am beginning to learn to cherish my dearest family more and more. :) i love this kind of feeling. the closeness within that no one can break it.

dearest ah yee. u are still the lady whom i admire a lot. u started out young with nothing. and u were brave enough to chose the lifestyles u want. u provided a very good and comfortable life for ah ma. you bear all the responsibilities of taking care of pam and ben when u need not to. you dote on us so much. you are always fair in your love for us. 

i have a goal now. that is to bring happiness to my family. to see them smile everyday. being happy isn't just about yourself. it also means to bring happiness to the people around you.

i guess it is only when you are vulnerable, you learn the importance of being strong.

thank you ben ben for sending me home too!:)

i love you, ah yee.